Pioneer LogLewis & Clark College’s Student-Run Newspaper

A very special HAMSLAM: Author’s intent, explanation and farewell

April 30, 2010

Dear Readers,

Some have said that I have too much love and write Hamslam to spread that love with others. They refer to my unnaturally high sperm count and testosterone overload. This, of course, is preposterous. With some deep reflection I have instead realized that I have trust issues. By writing Hamslam I am able to hash through my personal problems with a large audience. After reading controversial opinions people are more likely to come and talk to me about what I have written. In a sense, I have created a personal therapeutic device.  On the other hand, I have found that because I do not trust most women I use this space in the Pioneer Log to project my distrust onto others. I have made generalizations about women and made unfounded claims that spread my distrust to a wider audience in the LC community. Overall, I have been irresponsible and have wielded my power unfairly, and for that I am sorry. Some view Hamslam as an inspiration, saying it is something to be emulated and followed. This is ridiculous. Though I may be unbelievably lucky with women, it is not because of my chauvinist tendencies. I blame my good luck with woman on my ability to show them how special they are. It is as simple as that.

Overall, I am not sure why I have such deep trust issues. Maybe it is because I am insecure myself and put up a shield to protect myself. In each relationship I have had, I have pushed the person away before they are able to get too close. Though I make them feel special, I will never believe that I am special to them.

Hamslam is a provocative piece. Its goal is to encourage discourse by playing devil’s advocate and inspiring conversations. At times, this has had diverse effects. Many women on campus have expressed their discontent, and many men have given me high fives. For that, I am not sorry. If Hamslam has had an effect on you, that is good. If it has pissed you off, even better. But if you are angry with me because you think I am standing behind Hamslam and embody those words, then you need some personal growth yourself. Personal growth is always a good reflective process and each time I write an opinion I wonder what it really means and from where it has come.

To conclude, I wanted to extend my apologies to those who have felt offended because they have misunderstood my intent. I hope that this has shown that in fact I am deeper than what is presented on a newspaper page. To the men out there who have enjoyed my work, thank you for your support. But remember that most of this was satire, and being an ass only works half the time. For the women out there –I love you and always will, all of you. I wish I could keep writing but I have too much Hamslamming to do, so I must wish you farewell.

Collin Hamilton