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Irresponsibility: Odd journeys of mistakes and recovery

April 16, 2010

by Marley Badolati

All right, I admit it — I’ve said and done some incredibly stupid things while drunk.

Most often, the brunt of my inane blabber and occasionally hostile tone falls upon whomever I am romantically interested in at the time. This repeated behavior has led me to hide my cell phone and avoid love interests whenever I plan on getting a little silly. However, there is no foul-proof way to protect yourself from potential embarrassment that a night of moderate to heavy drinking brings with it. This is especially true if you’re drinking while under massive amounts of stress and anxiety. So what happens after a particularly stressful drunken episode? Well, here are a few scenarios you might one day find yourself in:

1) You wake up and realize you didn’t do or say anything wrong while inebriated. I commend anyone who is able to do this. You’re amazing. Keep up the good work.

2) You wake up, check your phone, and notice that you’ve sent horrible text messages to your boyfriend or girlfriend. You also notice that you talked to him or her for about an hour after the text was sent and have no recollection of the conversation. Honestly, this is one of the best scenarios you could find yourself in. I know that sounds ridiculous, but if you’ve established a good relationship before this point your significant other is likely to believe you when you use the excuse, “I was so drunk.” Of course, you’re going to have to prove yourself afterwards and probably skip the next rowdy get-together but if the relationship means something to you this won’t be the worst thing in the world. He or she will probably forgive you and you can look forward to the bliss that will come from being done with school.

3) You wake up and realize that you’ve sent horrible text messages to everyone, confessed your love to your crush, called your mom three times, and threw up on your best friend’s bed. Basically, you were a total mess. You also got written up several times and have to talk to David Rosengard. This seems horrible, but it’s really not all that bad. After all, your friends will probably forgive you in about a week and after talking things over with the counseling center you might even discover some strategies for drinking responsibly. No one is here to simply punish you – even when you wake up with puke in your hair and 21 tally marks on your arm because you thought that challenging a man twice your size to a drinking contest was a good idea.

So what do heavy drinking and academics have in common? Probably a lot more than what I’m going to discuss in this article. But for my purposes I want to focus on the sense of being out of control.

Life is hard. If anyone tells you otherwise they are lying to you and just want to make you feel bad for complaining. Even professors understand that personal circumstances can get in the way of school. Sometimes we feel so completely powerless, confused, and checked-out that life can parallel a night of being blackout drunk when it comes to your schoolwork. After the drunkenness of a rough stretch of life has worn off, some similar situations may arise:

1) You wake up and realize that you’ve been an amazing student throughout your hardship. For some reason you’ve been able to get As while working two jobs and dealing with the loss of a friend or relative. Even though this scenario is impressive, it won’t always work for most of us. We’re just not machines.

2) You wake up and realize that you turned in a horrible paper to your favorite professor. You feel terrible about it and want to talk to them but are afraid that they hate you forever because you made them read that pile of word-vomit. If you’re just being a lazy student with no real reason for turning in garbage, then you’re probably right. But if you are actually having a rough time, your professor may just give you a chance to save the academic relationship via an extension. If they do this, you’ll have to pull through in the end. Otherwise you’ll just look like another lying slacker.

3) You wake up and realize that you haven’t been to class in a week, have written the worst things ever, and don’t remember your professor’s name. This isn’t as easy to get out of as the second scenario. You haven’t yet established a relationship with your professors and you seem like just another student who can’t deal with college. Again, if life is just too much for you at the moment, then get help. If you don’t feel comfortable telling your professors about your personal life, talk to Student Support Services.

No one wants you to leave college and there are resources here committed to your success. Just try and pull yourself together enough to get help. Getting assistance during times of crisis doesn’t mean that you’re dumb or inferior, so don’t beat yourself up over it.

The thing to keep in mind during all of these moments is that your friends, professors, and lovers are here to help you even when you’ve been a total ass. Puke washes out, and life will get back to normal soon enough.