Pioneer LogLewis & Clark College’s Student-Run Newspaper

Hamslam

March 05, 2010

Dear Hamslam,

 In response to last week’s reader. There is something my friends and I have recently coined as “Casual Monogamy.” We women here at LC are definitely “DTF” but the problem is, I don’t want a one-night stand. I want someone who is “DTF” me over and over again. I have a raging sexual thirst and so far I have found that my casual partners here at LC have, well, not been able to quench me. My idea of commitment is “casual monogamy”, mostly because of health issues, but also because I want to know I can come back for more. If it only lasts two weeks or a month, that’s cool. I am NOT looking for a marriage proposal. But if I know that the man walking me homefrom a party wants to provide me with *one* drunken, mediocre sexual experience, its not worth my time. If he doesn’t have the energy to call me the next day then he sure as heck can’t fulfill me sexually. Any advice?

 

Dear Reader,

At first glance I would say, I will meet you anywhere, anytime, for as many times as you would like, and I guarantee a successful outcome.  But really I believe you deserve a better answer. The thing with sex is it is like wine. It gets better over time. So of course with each time the partners will become more comfortable and the sex will be better. At majority of LC women do agree with what you are saying, they are not DTF because it is pointless, non constructive for a relationship, and can often have long-term consequences. Some noted, when asked about one-night stands, that it can be an ego booster or a release, which has it perks. The problem is to find out whether the sex will be good or if they guy will call back later, a girl needs to be willing to try it out and find out.  Many are not willing to take that plunge, because chances are the guy is nasty, like me. On the other hand if everybody is down to fuck, why not just do it? Have a one-night stand and have no pressure related. Many of these things happen after one too many drinks, and this can often be regretted in the morning.

So for my advice on this issue:

1) Go on gut instinct. If the guy is hot, he impresses you and has all the right moves…try it out. But truly understand and be ready for whatever might happen in the long run. Because it could lead to a relationship, or just a fling, or you could be hurt. Therefore, know your own limits.

2) Communicate your needs. Tell him you are DTF, but want to get to know him for a little bit. Honestly, in my opinion, the worst relationships are sex-based, because you need to be able to have a conversation and a connection other then in the bedroom.  My best relationship was with a girl who was totally down to fuck, but did not do it the first night. It worked because I knew we would be intimate, but needed some foundation first.

3) If the sex was bad the first time, ask yourself why. Were you too drunk? Was he? Was it awkward or did you guys just not click, because that can totally happen. Every body is different and some don’t really match.