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The Dating Doctor inspires romance and controversy

February 26, 2010

by Megan Quint

 

We’re all well aware of Lewis & Clark’s reputation as a dater’s nightmare. LC was used as an example in a Feb. 5 article in the New York Times entitled “The New Math on Campus,” discussing gender imbalance on college campuses. College Prowler describes the pickings at LC as “slim,” saying “both men and women have a hard time finding someone attractive, and end up settling.” I myself, upon telling someone from another school that I’m a student at LC, have gotten the response, “Is it true that no one there gets any action?” Whether or not this has been your own personal experience, the stigma of the LC student body as a group of dateless losers follows us outside of the LC bubble. 

This is a fact that worried Sean Johnson (’10), and it is with this in mind that he worked to bring in David Coleman, a.k.a. the Dating Doctor and the inspiration behind the 2005 film Hitch, starring Will Smith in the role of Coleman. Like the character Hitch, Coleman works with individual clients who need serious help in addition to his regular speaking gigs. 

“I saw him at Western Oregon University, and they had a ridiculous number of people there, more people than I’ve ever seen in one place,” said Johnson. “Everyone was having so much fun, and I thought it would be awesome if Lewis & Clark students could have a fun time like that.”

Students of all kinds packed into Council Chamber on Sunday afternoon despite the beautiful weather, a testament to the student body’s keen interest in the subject.

As people entered, Johnson, along with other students involved in the event, passed out golf pencils, encouraging attendees to write down their gleanings from the bombardment of information, and severely minimizing my own anxiety over being the only one taking notes (for the purpose of this article). 

So, for the benefit of all you romantically challenged LC students, prospies, alumni and parents, I bring you a selection of extracted tidbits, useful or otherwise, from the Dating Doctor:

1. No one will be attracted to you until you think that you’re attractive. Too many people don’t even find themselves remotely attractive. In Coleman’s words, “This shit’s got to stop and it’s got to stop today!” It’s not about the appearance; it’s about the attitude. College is hard enough without a lack of confidence.

2. How to avoid the “friend zone” on small campuses: According to Coleman, the so-called “friend zone” is notorious at small schools such as LC because the person you’re interested in can see you all day for free (that is, without investing the commitment of a relationship). The Doctor’s prescription? Change your schedule by a few minutes, giving the person a chance to miss you. Sure, this might seem like playing games, but all is fair in love and war, or so they say.

3. Despite what you may have heard from When Harry Met Sally, boys and girls can just be friends, and you can even be friends with an ex. As long as you are no longer physically attracted to them, romantically interested in them, or jealous of their new girl/boyfriend. And it has to go both ways.

4. Please avoid pickup lines, but especially these two: “If beauty were measured in milk, you’d be a cow,” and “It might look like a needle, but it works like a sewing machine.”

5. Miscellaneous: Ask questions that are emotionally- rather than factually-based; make eye contact; “moosh brain,” a breaking of the “touch barrier” are ways people show interest; in a relationship, the person who cares the least has the most control; and most of all, be romantic—Coleman defines romance as “performing an ordinary act of love or kindness at an unexpected time.”

The Doc’s message received mixed reactions from attendees. 

 “The performance failed to provide the solutions it advertised, violating its own promises and leaving students with a detrimental message about how to create and maintain healthy relationships,” said Maisha Foster-O’Neal (’11). “The Doc’s humor frequently descended into name-calling and derision,” which was contrary to his original sentiment “that to be dateable, you have to like yourself.” Foster-O’Neal added that “his treatment of the LGBTQ community was demeaning” due to the fact that “his language was so explicitly gendered that it was almost impossible for queer listeners to tease out any advice we could apply to ourselves.” 

Johnson was very pleased with Coleman’s performance. 

“So many people have come up to me since the event and told me they had such a great time, which was obviously the goal. I would say it was pretty successful,” Johnson said.